Going Ahead in My Life a Bit

For what I was told, my dad was a lot like my brother Norman. He was quiet most of the time, but when needed, he had quite a temper. So growing up with Norman, I saw a lot of my dad coming out of him. When my second son was due to be born on the twenty-first of April, there was no way I wanted that. So I called my mom and asked her what I could do to have this baby a day early. She said castor oil should work, so she went to the drugstore and got a bottle for me.

Mom was working in her beauty salon at her house when I called to ask her, “How much should I take?” We decided on double the regular dose. Then she told the lady she was working on what I was going to do and how much I was going to take. She told my mom that maybe I shouldn’t take that much, that it might cause cramps. So my mom called me right back, but it was too late; I had already taken it. She mentioned the possibility of cramps and not being able to tell the difference between contractions or cramps. “Great,” I told her, and I waited to see what was going to happen. It was about two thirty in the afternoon when I took the castor oil. By three o’clock, I started to have some pains. And by five forty-five, I was cooking dinner for my husband and two-year-old son, Brian. I was very uncomfortable. I was standing over the stove stirring a pot of spaghetti, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. So I asked my husband, Larry, if he would finish making dinner, and I was going to the bedroom to lie down.

After the spaghetti was done, they ate their dinner. He asked me if I wanted any, and I responded, “No thanks.” After they finished dinner, my sister came over to see how I was doing. She asked Larry where I was, and then she came to the bedroom to see me. She asked, “How often are the contractions?” I answered, “I don’t know. They seem to be on top of each other. Two to three minutes apart but overlapping.” I wasn’t sure if they were contractions or cramps. Then I told her what Mom and Ann from the shop said about possible cramps. She then put her hand on my stomach and said, “You have to go now.” So she went into the kitchen to get Larry. He was doing the dishes. “Just a minute, let me finish these,” he said. My sister responded, “No, you have to go now before it’s too late.” She told him she would stay with Brian and finish the dishes. They both came to the bedroom, got me up, and out to the car, and off we went to the South Ferry.

My sister went back in the house and called the doctor’s office to say we were on our way to the hospital. When we pulled onto the ferry, Larry told the man on the ramp what was happening. Well, I’d never had such a fast ride across to North Haven, where the ferry docked on the other side. The gates closed, and before you knew it, we were on the road again. It’s fifteen miles to Southampton Hospital; we had my husband’s 1979 Trans Am. I yelled, “Slow down! We’ll have an accident.” He replied, “I’ll be okay. I’m not planning on having this baby in the car.”

We got to the hospital in record time, which was a good thing. It was about six thirty. Larry left me in the car and ran into the emergency room to get help. They saw me, and before I knew it, I was in the delivery room area. They gave me an enema, and I didn’t mention the castor oil.

Then I was in the delivery room. The doctor was not there yet, but the nurse said to me, “Okay, let’s go.” I said, “But the doctor’s not here yet.” She then told me that he was on his way. “He is in the hospital and on his way up, so let’s make it so that when he walks in, he can grab the baby on its way out.” So I started to push. The doctor walked in, and I looked up to see him, and he was tying my husband’s gown. I yelled out, “Hey, what about me!” The doctor laughed and said he would be right there.

So it ended up that when the doctor walked into the delivery room, Larry said, “Can someone tie this for me? I cannot do it, and by the time I explain why, she will be having the baby.” So by six forty-five, Kevin was born. He was a big baby. He was over twenty-one inches long and ten pounds one ounce. He was ready to be born. I’m so glad I took the castor oil.

They cleaned him up and wrapped him in a blue blanket and put him in my arms. The doctor was still working on me because Kevin was so big he tore me up, and the doctor was stitching me up. Looking back, having him a day early did not change anything at all. It might have messed with the stars a bit. Kevin is a lot like my dad, just like my brother, in his height, weight, and even his shoe size (13). I remember the last time I took him off to get shoes. I told him, “If your feet grow any more, I’m just going to buy the box next time.” We both had a good laugh, and we left the shoe store and went home back to the island. Oh, by the way, I did not have to buy the box the next time because his feet had stopped growing

When Kevin was in high school, he came home one day and said, “Thanks a lot for having me a day early because you had me on Hitler’s birthday.” My response was, “I’m sorry about that, but I did not want to have you on the day my dad died.” After my son was growing up, I started to be sorry that I changed fate. Kevin had a lot of my dad in him. Maybe it was meant to be that he should have been born on the twenty-first of April. But you can’t change history. You can only watch history repeat itself.

Just recently, many years later, I was talking to the wife of the chief at work about my life, about my dad’s accident. She said, “Yes, I remember that. I was only eleven years old. I was in the fifth grade, I think.” Then we talked a while longer. She ended with the fact that she had never seen a grown man cry until that day of my dad’s accident. She saw Hap cry. She also told me that was something that she would remember forever.

This is a perfect example of life on this island. The word of the accident traveled across the island in a flash. Everyone that was old enough will remember this day, just like when JFK got shot, and when the Twin Towers came down. It’s something you can’t forget if you were old enough to remember. I was not old enough for the first two of these tragic moments to remember. But I can say I was old enough for the Towers, and yes, it’s something you can’t forget. I was taking a lady to a senior day care when I heard it on the radio in my car. So I dropped her off, and then when I got back to the ferry, they said that the other tower was also hit. This just wasn’t possible. When I got home, I turned on the TV to see for myself. As the TV came on, the first tower was coming down, and not much time went by when the second tower came down. I couldn’t move. I was frozen in the middle of my living room. My son Brian came into the house just as the first tower was coming down, and we both couldn’t believe our eyes. Okay, time to go back in time.

(Photo caption: This photo is a full view of the mural that my stepdad painted of the farmyard in our house.)

I loved my pop and couldn’t be with him enough. I knew being with his son’s daughter was also helping him.